Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
