ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
