I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
