Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize