R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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