so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
