She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
