Dual....:-)
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
