why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The adults are the big ones right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
