it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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