Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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