Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
