even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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