the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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