u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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