Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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