this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
barbara walters just said penis...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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