what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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