wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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