This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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