i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
