Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
