Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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