next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
