areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As shirtless as possible
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
