There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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