This girl is more easily done than said...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
