The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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