Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
