You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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