I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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