I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
