ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
