its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
