dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
