After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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