remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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