How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
