i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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