i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
