I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
