yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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