Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
