Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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