i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
