He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
