did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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