Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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