Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
