Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
